looking through glass at another version of yourself.

I started noticing my old colors again. The texture of the water and leaves are the easiest way to tell it’s coming.

Most days I look at them and see a blinding amalgamation of shimmering lights, only able to barely process a fraction of it.

But today, I perceived every inch of it.

Sunlight bouncing off the water like raindrops from a storm scattering their colors and the chaotic entropy of leaves creating shadows that freeze my mind trying to understand them.

Somehow today my eyes opened up once again to perceive the world how they please; yet in my mind I feel no different. I feel nothing. I should be exuberant; crashing myself into the universe in a manic state of existence trying to experience it fully.

—————————————————————————————

The constant colors I now see only leave my mind as different shades of grey. Perhaps this comfortable bubble of isolationism has begun to outlive its utility. I think I need to break free of it and let myself fall.

I created this state to solidify my emotions within isolation; to become free of the shackles of my constant depressive tendencies and find a type of happiness within any darkness.

To become a light that produces a grey that consumes all other extremes.

Now I stand in a window looking out at a world with freshly lit eyes and all I can see is myself looking back at me through the glass.

My need for control has consumed my desires.

It’s time to let them break free.

#so #ill #let #myself #be #consumed #by #entropy